Tight

I and my family celebrated an important occasion last Sunday. Two of my friends, helped me in everything, including going to the market to buy fruits and ingredients and cook the menu.

It was raining last Sunday. Because I have not been sick for quite some time, I forgot about my mortality. I went back and forth the makeshift kitchen we built few feet from the house braving the rain. When Monday came, my chest was heavy and tight I remembered a check up I had with my chain smoker doctor. The 2d echo result showed that the valve of my heart does not close after it releases blood such that some of those released blood gets back in. He said this is a congenital defect. He asked me if I sometimes run out of breath or if I feel the tightening of my chest.

I did not experience that two symptoms until after last Sunday. So, I warned my friends I may not last anymore. Even though I felt bad I had to honor an appointment in Quezon City. Luckily, my wife left her car, so I had my brother drove me. After around two and a half hours, we were back at the house and I noticed I did not have the discomfort I was feeling before we left. I said the car air conditioning system must have a good effect on me.

But the shortness of breath and the tightening of my chest came back intermittently and I noticed I had a slight head ache around the frontal area of my head down to my nose. I also felt a slight itch in my throat. I was also a bit irritable. I took my Seretide puffs twice daily and I also started taking another bronchodilator tablet.

None of them were of any help. My sore throat seemed to be getting worse and my condition was deteriorating. So, I bought anti-biotics and started taking them yesterday.

I had a peaceful sleep last night but I was coughing around morning.

I would like to think that the little tightness in my chest and the shortness of breath are but symptoms of slight asthma. I should be feeling a little better by tomorrow or two days from now.

Itch in the Throat

Here I am again suffering from asthma, four (4) months after my last post.

The strange headache I felt two days ago made me realize I did not have an ordinary allergy, but a cold virus because the headache was accompanied by a little awkwardness in the throat.

In ordinary allergy, I would exhibit symptoms of cold. I would be blowing my nose but after sometime I would forget about it. But when the symptoms of cold is accompanied by a headache and the awkwardness in the throat, I know immediately that I caught a virus and not an allergen.

I had to do something because I could not afford to miss a once a week seminar in the University of Santo Tomas. So, I once again referred to my previous posts here which (posts) served as my guide to the medicines to buy.

I started inhaling Seretide and taking Cefixime two nights ago. I should be taking Ansimar too to relieve me from the itchiness in my throat.

Aside from these asthma symptoms, I also feel pain in my right buttock near the bottom of my backbone. My coughing triggers this pain.

A vain, or a muscle must have gotten out of alignment.

What Asthma Brings

It seems that a generic brand for Cefixime, Taxocef-O, a film coated tablet manufactured by an Indian pharmaceutical company, Plethico, is working. I was a little bit hesitant to buy Taxocef-O because it cost almost as half as Tergecef, a brand prescribed by my old, thin, chain smoker, and slouching doctor. And since it was cheaper and manufactured by an Indian company, it is stereotyped as fake and therefore infective. I hope its effectiveness comes from the fact that it contains just the right amount of medicinal elements in it, and not in excess. It's Bureau of Food and Drugs certified as safe, said the drugstore attendant.

I started taking Taxocef-O yesterday morning when cold was dripping from my nose. Right from the center of my temple down to the center of my face I was aching: symptom of sinusitis also, I guess.

Although I coughed because of the itchiness in my throat at the early part of my sleep, thankfully, I woke up when the sun had already risen.

Yesterday, since I could not move as much I do now, I tried to pay attention to what exactly was happening inside my body. I was surprised to realize that I could not concentrate because I was in a state of panic. For almost three decades, asthma would come in the form of sore throat and that unique head ache and sore throat. I could not stop it and it would cripple me to bed. I hated that, because of asthma, I inconvenienced my mother, but most especially, I hated the fact that it made me suffer the kind of suffering not enough to kill me.

Doubtless, asthma has influenced the way I look at the world and the way I look at myself in ways that I may never know. It has instilled in me this sense of helplessness and surrender when faced even only with the signs of asthma attack, and not even the attack itself. And it is when I feel invincible and strong that asthma attacks and wipes out my self-esteem.

For me, asthma is synonymous with loss. Yet, it must also because of this constant communion with loss I learned to gather myself and start all over again, again and again. Yet, I can only build as much because asthma returns to remind me of my mortality.

My cold now has turned into white, sticky phlegm. In three or four days, it will turn to yellow or golden brown. It blocks the left hole of my nose and I am forced to breathe only through the hole of my right.

Also, I am feeling this itchiness in my throat that makes me cough from time to time. I only realize now that this feeling of itchiness is maybe caused by my air tube that has started to swell. My breathing is restricted to about twenty-five percentage less than when I am not sick.

I avoid moving too much else I get nauseated. Maybe because I run out of breath.